The Real Ryan Pinkowski

Ryan Pinkowski, a man of many disguises. To Alden High School he is just an average boy. But outside of school, he’s a time crunching maniac. On top of the stress of High School and homework he somehow fits in the time to roam the streets of downtown buffalo late at night and take in hobos. He drives his moms minivan around late at night and and persuades them into getting in with him. He offers whopping quantities of candy and if that doesn't get then in, he offers a ride to Mexico. Little do they know, he is really a psychopathic maniac and has the need to harbor hobos in his basement. It sounds like a simple job, but believe me, it’s not. I have one reliable source who has told me about many of his evil doings. Surprisingly, it is one of his best friends. Now obviously pinkey would NEVER think of telling anybody about his odd fatuation. But his friend was told from one person, and that was pinkey. You easily just give him massive amounts of cottage cheese and it puts him out like a light. Cottage cheese puts Pinkey into some kind of trance. A trance that allows him to sleep, but yet still talk and respond to common questions. You might say, it’s his Kryptonite. As Pinkey fell asleep he started babbling on about secrets, my source claims. “So I played along with him” he says. “He started going on about his secret hobby that no one knows about and I simply replied, what ?” And that's when everything was revealed. Now obviously this has been a well kept secret for many months, but I do believe its time everybody knows The Real Ryan Pinkowski. And that's why I'm blogging it. Spread the word.